It's ok to be jealous ;)
I've been out of America for 4 months and we decided that we were long overdue for a date. Since I started this deployment we went from no contact for a few days to unreliable contact for a couple weeks and it finally settled into a routine, but the routine was much different than our routine at home. When you are in such different time zones you spend the precious few hours that you're both awake talking about the most necessary things first (kids, bills, major events), then you move on to daily things (how was your day, how are you feeling etc) but it's hard to move past that to the random, fun conversations that mean so much at home. On top of that you don't have nearly as many things in common because you're on opposite sleeping schedules, you don't eat at the same time and you don't watch any of the same shows any more. Matt has to give me updates on the sports he watches because 9 times out of 10 I'm not going to stay up until 3am just to watch a game. So we decided that we were going to make time to do things 'together' and set aside time where we can just talk and 'date' one another. Now we will have dedicated time every couple days so that our conversations aren't all via text message or while one of us is trying to get something accomplished (like cleaning the house or working).
Besides all of that, Why should we wait 3-4 more months to have fun? It's not fair of me to expect him to be bored and lonely all the time, and I could sure use something to look forward to each week! Deployment can be hard enough as it is, there's no reason to keep the fun out of it.
After we realized that we let the fun things slide off the schedule we had to look up what we could actually do together. We started with the typical 'long distance dating' type searches but we had to cross off a bunch and alter a few just to come up with some ideas. There are lots out there, but it would be pretty hard to do things like cook together since I don't have a kitchen! The things we have come up with so far are setting up specific times where we're both free and having dinner and a movie. In order to deployify that date I'm actually going to be having an early breakfast and he had to pick a movie a few days in advance so I could go and buy it from the bazaar. If only netflix or Hulu plus worked in Afghanistan. . . But once the details are worked out we've got ourselves a date!
Another idea we're going to try out is exercising together. Obviously we can't go to the gym or on runs, but we can buy two of the same body weight work out videos and watch them at the same time. Until those arrive we can also youtube some shorter videos to do together, although I have to start to load them about 30 minutes before we actually want to work out! I really like the work out idea because it gives me an excuse to workout in the comfort of my warm room instead of outside!
The third idea is to facetime while we play electronic versions of board games. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that they have more than just 'words with friends' online these days!
Tonight we decided on dinner and a movie, starting at 7pm so now I get to get excited and begin my typical girly date-night prep! Ok, I lied. There is nothing typical about the date-night prep that I am doing! haha but I did finish cleaning and setting up my room and I plan on showering and putting on some regular clothes for our date!
Not the most romantic of settings, I know. It does look a ton better than it did though! I went through 2 boxes and two large plastic drawers to get all of this into a decluttered semblance of organization.
I have my clothes picked out, "dinner" planned and my alarm set (7pm is actually 5:30am for me). Now I get to do what I've been missing for 4 months; excitedly wait!
If y'all have any other date, family or de-stress ideas please shout them out! I'm sure that I can use them, or someone else that's struggling for ways to stay connected to loved ones can.
I might post again later and let y'all know how our date goes. If only I could manage a goodnight kiss. . !
2 comments:
Date night is cool. I wish we had the all the ways you have to communicate back in 1991. Your a lucky girl Lt.
I say make Matt eat the same pad Thai boxed noodles (with lots of "hooter sauce", of course) at the same time you do during your FaceTime conversation and discuss future plans ie. Christmas plans for the kids, your return to the states, Florida, (nothing bill related, nothing military related), etc.... Doesn't really take much preplanning. Not really a date, but more like a typical dinner at home.
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