ADHD
Spina bifida
Neural tube defects
Asthma
Picky-eaters
kidney failure
limb deformities
leukemia
heart defects
Why on earth did I just list 10 terrifying (or not so terrifying in the case of picky-eaters) issues? Because throughout the last 13 weeks I have been warned that taking one common medication or another will cause all of them!
This isn't a typical bi-weekly update (although I am 13 weeks and the baby is the size of a peach). This is a rant about prenatal health and nutrition versus scaring the bejeebus out of pregnant ladies.
Anyone who has been pregnant before knows that you are already terrified about your baby's well-being. You are eating as healthy as you can (without throwing up), you are taking the prenatals, you're exercising and you're even sucking up the heartburn and joint pain because you can't take your prescriptions anymore. You don't need judgey doomsdayers to make that worse. Oh, you drank a beer three days before you found out you were pregnant? Did you know that lower birth weight, eyes too close together and a lower IQ are associated with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome? I mean, I'm sure your baby is just fine though, don't worry!
Are you kidding me?
Or a less awful, more hearts-in-the-right-place comment: No sweetie, you can't take Tylenol for that splitting headache, studies have shown that it's linked to babies with ADHD. Oh and make sure to take your prenatals for the folic acid! You don't want it to have spina bifida or neural tube defects.
Thanks mom. You could have started out by telling me that most doctors allow Tylenol while pregnant and the study only correlated ADHD to women who chronically used over the recommended dosage of Tylenol. Or I mean, scaring the crap out of your daughter is always fun too. Especially when she has a headache.
Don't worry, I'll skip the Tylenol. But if I puke, I'm doing it on you.
The rest of those awful guilt-inducing possibilities come from doing things like, not eating a balanced diet, eating unpasteurized cheese, taking too much Tylenol, taking heartburn medicine, X-Rays and anti-inflammatory drugs (I'm looking at you Celebrex and Ibuprofen). Are all of those possibilities real? Yes, absolutely.
Is the possibility of getting struck by lightning or bitten by a shark real? Of course.
Do you see where I'm going here? I am in no way encouraging you to try, or condoning the use of any drugs, medications or procedures that can harm your baby. I'm simply saying that there is a proper way to deliver advice. Unless your advice is, 'your going to give your baby birth defects because of the Chai Tea you're drinking'. or 'I hope you don't plan on vaccinating. I mean do you want to give your child Autism?' In that case, shut up and try reading an actual research study, not a forum with user names like NiKoSMoMmA and Motha_of_4xoxoxo.
In most cases, you mean well and you're just trying to pass on what was passed to you. However if you don't actually know the facts or validity behind the warning, say that at the beginning! There is a HUGE difference between, 'If you eat lunch meat you're going to have a premature delivery or still birth, just thought you should know.' and 'Did you know that consuming lunch meat gives you a less than 1% chance of becoming infected with Listeria? Its pretty uncommon with recent packaging and health regulations, but if you want to avoid that risk you can microwave your lunch meat before eating it, or pick something else.'
The worst perpetrators in my experience are family friends that haven't had a child in 10+ years, and your typical its-on-the-Internet-so-it-must-be-true ladies. The ones that haven't had kids in a while are passing on what they learned when they went through it, but they tend not to realize that a LOT has changed since then. The latter on the other hand will just drink up all of the blatant lies that are posted on forums by people who abbreviate words like 'you', 'are', 'for', and 'see'.
I've lost faith in that crowd.
Moral of the story? If you can't explain WHY something is bad and HOW it will cause such devastating effects, do us all a favor and be quiet and go read a book.
I'll get off my soap box now and go back to work.
2 comments:
If I ever scared you, I'm sorry. That was NOT MY INTENT. What I said was, large doses taken for an extended period of time, have been linked to complications, and that it was up to you to decide.
This post is just one more reason I know you will make a good mother. I always told you to investigate everything that everybody tells you, to check the facts, and not just take someone else's opinion. Good going, sweetheart! One more reason I'm proud of the person you have become!
1) you learn to not listen to people.... I drank at least a few beers a week in the weeks leading up to finding out I was pregnant. Look at us now!
2) if you can't tolerate prenatals take flinstones or chewable a and eat some extra green leafy veggies for frolic acid. Do what you can.
3) take that Tylenol. I see moms take a lot worse persxriptions drugs and we consider it safe and see good outcomes.
4) tums are your life saver, don't feel guilty.
Half of enjoying pregnancy is symptom management, find what works for you and use it. If your concerned you know where to find a drug book to look up pregnancy categories. All manufacturers will say consult a doctor but in reality a lot of meds are safe. Happy second trimester next week!
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